coulda woulda shoulda

I know all of you (slash my mom & dad) have been patiently waiting with bated breath to see pictures of appliances being installed. I have been too, except subtract the word patiently. I can't even begin to articulate what happened this week without owing a month's salary to the swear jar, and I am not trying to derail your Thursday morning like that. Thursdays are usually pretty good. Suffice it to say, the kitchen reno will not be finished this week. The pretty little hood that took longer to make than a mammal arrived earlier than projected last week. Cue the helium for the balloons! My contractor opened its tightly packaged coffin to begin the install on Tuesday and found it was damaged beyond belief. Suck the helium right of my head why don't you. To say I am disappointed would be the understatement of the year, but I am thinking I must be due for some reallllly good luck. I will probably win the lottery this weekend. Completely logical. 

So, I could show you a picture of a dishwasher that was installed, but unless it also roasts turkeys and prints money, I realize that no one is probably interested in that. On the bright side, and after much pouting/begging/threatening to cry, it sounds like they will install the other appliances this week. Fingers crossed!! So in an effort to completely divert my attention from the drama at hand, I thought I would completely switch gears and address a few other design dilemmas I was debating.

Gears switched. 

I must try to remember always wanting what you don't have is an innate quality in every human being. It's not just my day to day struggle. But in an ideal world, with no budget, there are a few things I might have done differently in the kitchen. Jack says I am the absolute worst when it comes to order envy. He is accurate. Without fail, every time I order food in a restaurant, I immediately begin to second guess myself when someone else orders and then wish with every ounce of my being that I had ordered whatever that person got. Every. Single. Time. So I really I shouldn't be surprised when it came to decision making in the kitchen I would have the same coulda woulda shoulda problems just on a different scale. Indecisive much?

WINDOWS...
In an ideal world, this kitchen would have a wall full of windows, a door to an outside patio, and a Subzero refrigerator stocked full of Ina Garten left overs, but you can't always get what you want. Unless you are Chrissy Teigen. We have one small-ish window in the kitchen. If I could do it all over again (sans budget), I would definitely add more windows, but that was an obvious way to save. For our project and budget, the choice came down to knocking down a wall or adding a window--they were roughly the same cost.

Don't get me wrong, I love natural light as much as anyone, but I also love elbow room and we had to have it. The kitchen was closed in like a box. Like a tiny Tiffany's box but without the sparkling rock inside of it. If we had added a window but kept the wall, the kitchen would feel just as confined as it did before. Also, since our house is historic, in order to get a window we would have to get COA approval. And given the uproar in our neighborhood over other design issues, I didn't want to deal with the headache. I think we made the right choice choosing to take out the wall instead of opting for more windows. I just want to mention this to those of you out there struggling with similar choices. When you look at something as lovely as these windows though, it is hard to think anything is right in the world unless you can have them too.

THE ISLAND...
I worried I'd have regrets about the island the second I pulled the trigger. Our kitchen is small. Very small. Tres petite. In most worlds probably too small for an island, but when you are dealing with someone as hellbent as me, there is only ever one way that situation resolves itself. I must learn through trial and error. Actual trial and error. I don't know if I will end up resenting its sheer presence, but lawd I hope not. I needed the extra counter top space too for crying out loud.

Also, as soon as I gave the cabinet maker the go ahead, I had an instant pain in my side. I said nothing to him to let him know this, but deep down I really wanted an island that felt more like a piece of furniture than another set of cabinets. I wanted to do something in more of a natural wood instead of just like the other white painted cabinets. Did I make a mistake???

via Hunted Interior

Ok, maybe I am just obsessed with that kitchen.

via House Beautiful

In the grand scheme of things, no major freak outs about these two issues yet, but I just thought it was worth mentioning. And I also thought if I went ahead and said it out loud, maybe it would relieve some of my constant heartburn since I have been living with this all alone. I already feel so much better.